talk talk

10 January 2011 10:18 AM Categories: Quotidian existence | Insomnia

Over the last week or so, I’ve been staying up too late, drinking red wine and hanging out on the Internet before reading my book and collapsing. I’ve been waking up too early, my head fuzzy with lack of sleep, my mind dried out from alcohol past 8 p.m. My mother arrived on Saturday and we've spent some time talking, on dog walks, in the kitchen after the kid goes to sleep, and I’ve realized how long it’s been since I’ve talked. It’s a relief, the talking, letting my thoughts free. I'm someone who needs to talk. If I let things sit, they build up and further communication becomes difficult, almost impossible. The idea of broaching anything feels insurmountable. So I've started talking and need to keep it up. My conversations with my mother were only a warm up.

Not all of these discussions were of the deep talk variety. The mundane and silly came up as well. Some conversational examples:

What both of us remember best about seeing Star Wars in the summer of 1977 was the bus ride to and from the movie theater at the Tri State Mall. We sat in the back of the bus. The air conditioning blew against our hair, cooled our hands. And: “Why did we even go to that movie? It’s all about war.”

Bill Murray is a jerk and Chevy Chase may be a jerk, too, despite what kgbanswers has to say about it.

If possible, we never want to spend time in the hospital again.

Cats' foreheads get hotter when they are feeling affectionate (I'm not sure I buy this one).

Marriage is a marathon.

The kid pushes back as much as I did when I was little. He’s got his father’s otherworldliness, the tendency to high distraction, and my foolish stubbornness. Whether these traits will serve him well or will forever trip him up remains to be seen.

Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit is pretty funny.

When she mentions the "bad car" we had, she means the VW station wagon, the one whose windshield wipers flew off in a rainstorm, the one with no heat, not the Toyota with the non-working gas gauge that she drove around with expired tags because it wouldn't pass inspection.

My lack of appetite. My lack of sleep.

So I am full of talk, of conversation, my mind temporarily subdued. It's a good feeling, showing my thoughts to the light, giving them life.

Image: Me on the couch. I'm here at 5 in the morning. I'm here at 10:30 at night. I've got the caffeine, the hot water, the red wine, the IPA, depending on the time. But soon, I'll have the sleep again.

Tags: sleep, sleep deprivation, slogging through, talking it out

blog comments powered by Disqus

blog »