One theory is that Nick suffers from existential angst, though I personally think he misses the stalking and the killing. He got out by mistake a few weeks ago, pushed his way through an unlatched back door in the early morning hours, and has not let us forget his gleeful four hours of freedom. Nick is too sweet to have been a born-and-bred street cat but I can tell that he’s spent a lot of time outdoors, probably even before the Island Cat Rescue Association volunteer found him in East Oakland with an abscess at the base of his tail. He wants to be out in the grass, wants to hide in a thicket of bamboo. He misses the crunch of hollow bird bones, the gaminess of mouse flesh.

Nick’s existential angst or blood lust, take your pick, has taken the form of 2:00 a.m. howling. He’s the loudest cat I’ve ever known, full of throaty confidence and the ability to project, the kind of cat depicted in old-time cartoons, sitting on the fence yowling as neighbors hurl shoes. He’s an opera singer belting out a sad little tune, “Let me out!” or “I must kill!”

It must seem like a cruel joke when we get out the cat fishing line, the feathers attached to a stick. As I whip them around the bedroom, the feathers turn and beat through the air as though they were birds' wings. Like all cats, Nick has an active imagination and allows himself to be taken in for a few minutes. He hustles and jumps, takes a very strong cat arm and pins the fluorescent feathers to the carpet in one swipe. The feathers crunch and crumble as Nick snaps his jaws against them, tries to carry his prize downstairs.

I am actually tempted to let him out – it feels cruel to keep him from something he loves and clearly knows well. My other cats have all been indoor-only from the beginning so they didn’t know what they were missing. But I know that it isn’t a safe world out there and we signed a contract saying that his paws would never touch dirt or concrete sidewalks again.

Perhaps it’s time to take in a budgie or two, a little something to make life more interesting for our 2:00 a.m. howler.

Tags: Pets, Nick, Pet adoption, outdoor cats, cat rescue, cats, Island Cat Rescue Association