writing to survive
unknotting the past and remaking the present one story at a time

Witchy woman

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You’d never believe it, given the way I simper and prance, the way I dodge around you like an obsequious mosquito, but ever since that night in Santa Monica (the wine, the staggering back to the hotel room, your post-coital admittance of a girlfriend in Portland), I’ve wanted to punch you in the face. I picture my fist pressing into your pudgy cheek, breaking that delicate nose, bruising your eye. I want to leave a mark, a single scratch from a sharpened talon, in hidden place (groin, buttock, meaty thigh).

It wasn’t like I was a one-night stand. Well, it turned out that I was a one-night stand, but before that, we were friends. Close friends. Talk-about-lovers friends, and tell-about-the-spinach-in-the-teeth types. Of course, you hadn’t told me that Samantha was your girlfriend, though you’d think I would have figured it out from
Sam-this and Sam-that, from the fact that you had a cheesy beach picture of her on your phone. Oh, no. Your relationship with Samantha became much more serious the minute you pulled out.

Your silence covered and cooled us, a blanket of snow, the sudden blizzard of the unsaid. I took it well, pushed myself a millimeter away and said, “I have a boyfriend, too, you know.” Well –
yeah. You did know. Before you kissed me, pressed me up against that brick wall (all the teenagers and the botoxed and the homeless passing us by, we were just a blip on the promenade that night, a small sin), reached for the back of my neck, you said “But what about Phillip?”

“Fuck Phillip,” I told you and you were funny, dry as always: “That wasn’t who I was hoping to fuck,” your lips so close to mine that I could taste your words. We laughed and you kissed me. You know the rest.

Now I see you and my fists clench in my pockets. In the past few years, you’ve gotten beefier, have grown into that British face. Perhaps I could hide the punch in a tender gesture, trace the edge of your chin with my talon, reach back as though I’m about to run my fingers through your hair. Then: POW! You yelp in surprise, hold your nose (cover your eyes), press your palm to your lips (caress your broken check) and I run away, cackling like the witch that I am.

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From a prompt: Confess to something. It's almost totally unedited from the original 12 minutes of writing. My partner thought it was funny (as it was meant to be, in a kind of twisted way), but now I wonder. I offer it here as a diversion.

Image by me (the moment before the punch?).

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